Tuesday, November 13, 2012
I just got a text from my husband telling me his teacher said his care plans were perfect and he could choose what he wanted to do for clinicals this week..Needless to say, I am not the perfect wife.. when he studies night and day, weekend after weekend, I get frustrated. Not because I dont think he is doing a good job at school, just that we never see him. But to get a report like this makes is all worth the time away.. I keep telling myself.. it is only another year and half and we will be a happy family again. The stress has been great and time commitments he has to give school is beyond what most put in to a job, but I am just so proud and happy he is doing so good. So thankful he has a passion and is doing his best to get through school, so we can move on with our lives. He is a wonderful husband and a great father, we just miss him! I know I could be more understanding and do more around here, but we just have to take one day at a time.. love you babe!
Friday, October 26, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
As I was talking to my cousin about her mother, my amazing aunt, she encouraged me to listen to the song Because He Lives~ one of the main versus says, Because He Lives, I can face tomorrow, Because He lives, All Fear is gone...isn't that so true. We have no Hope for tomorrow, except for in our Heavenly Father. My aunt has struggled with ovarian cancer for 5 years now. She is the toughest gal around! Chemo therapy once a week for 5 years!! Can you even imagine?? The reality of life is, we will not have her here with us forever. She has been the glue that holds our family together ever since my grandmother passed away. My Mother and her have been my two best friends all my life. I use to tell people, I would rather hang out with those two than anyone else! My aunt has always been the best thing ever to me. She would take me on trips, to weddings, you name it...i went to a lot of places with her and Uncle Clyde. She is my hero for sure! We have prayed for a miracle, for God to heal her, but sometimes God has other plans. IT is so hard for us to let go of such amazing people, we want them here with us forever! I use to think, God if you could just let her hold on until Zoey is born.. and then that was not near enough time. The best thing ever is, Zoey and her absolutely love each other! She was the one person I wanted to call when Zoey was born. I was still getting stitched up when I called to tell her about Zoey's arrival. I could go on for hours about what an amazing mother, sister, grandmother, wife, friend she is, but there is not enough room on paper! She clearly is the toughest person I know. So many times she would get her chemo, feel like crap, and go home and cook dinner. I dont think anyone reads these posts, I just use it for a journal, but If you do, I hope you get the picture of just how wonderful she really is.She has been married to the same man for over 50 years! He has done such a beautiful job taking care of her. This morning when i was praying for her and begging God to let her live her last days on earth comfortable, without pain, I was sobbing. My sweet baby girl, crawled up in my lap, wrapped her little arm around my neck and patted my back. Now most, would probably say not to cry around your children, well my sweet girl, she has already learned about emotions and is a soother like none other. It absolutely melted my heart! She looked in my eyes and just layed her sweet little head on my chest.. can you get the picture??? She is my angel! and I thank God everyday for her. Aunt Shirley gave her a bell when we were visiting her one time. Today, Zoey happened to carry it around a lot. Kind of neat, since I could not quit thinking about her. She has been on every type of chemo there is and sadly, they have done what they are going to do. My aunt is a fighter, has a will to survive.. a will to live and make people happy. She does not want to stop the chemo, just in case it might help a little. The reality is, she has fought her fight. As much as i love her and never want to let her go, it is time for her to stop fighting so hard and just enjoy some quality days from here on out. I don't know if she will ever let go and stop the chemo, but the side affects are terrible! She has no feeling in her feet or hands, falls down in stores and no one helps her up!! What is wrong with people these days! My prayer today is , Lord, let her days be filled with joy and smiles.. No more pain or heartaches.. just happiness Lord.. may you wrap your big loving arms around her, keep her close to you . Help us to be what we can be for her and give her the strength to carry on until you carry her home to be with you and all of our loved ones. In Jesus Name, Amen