Because He LIves~

As I was talking to my cousin about her mother, my amazing aunt, she encouraged me to listen to the song Because He Lives~ one of the main versus says, Because He Lives, I can face tomorrow, Because He lives, All Fear is gone...isn't that so true. We have no Hope for tomorrow, except for in our Heavenly Father. My aunt has struggled with ovarian cancer for 5 years now. She is the toughest gal around! Chemo therapy once a week for 5 years!! Can you even imagine?? The reality of life is, we will not have her here with us forever. She has been the glue that holds our family together ever since my grandmother passed away. My Mother and her have been my two best friends all my life. I use to tell people, I would rather hang out with those two than anyone else! My aunt has always been the best thing ever to me. She would take me on trips, to weddings, you name it...i went to a lot of places with her and Uncle Clyde. She is my hero for sure! We have prayed for a miracle, for God to heal her, but sometimes God has other plans. IT is so hard for us to let go of such amazing people, we want them here with us forever! I use to think, God if you could just let her hold on until Zoey is born.. and then that was not near enough time. The best thing ever is, Zoey and her absolutely love each other! She was the one person I wanted to call when Zoey was born. I was still getting stitched up when I called to tell her about Zoey's arrival. I could go on for hours about what an amazing mother, sister, grandmother, wife, friend she is, but there is not enough room on paper! She clearly is the toughest person I know. So many times she would get her chemo, feel like crap, and go home and cook dinner. I dont think anyone reads these posts, I just use it for a journal, but If you do, I hope you get the picture of just how wonderful she really is.She has been married to the same man for over 50 years! He has done such a beautiful job taking care of her. This morning when i was praying for her and begging God to let her live her last days on earth comfortable, without pain, I was sobbing. My sweet baby girl, crawled up in my lap, wrapped her little arm around my neck and patted my back. Now most, would probably say not to cry around your children, well my sweet girl, she has already learned about emotions and is a soother like none other. It absolutely melted my heart! She looked in my eyes and just layed her sweet little head on my chest.. can you get the picture??? She is my angel! and I thank God everyday for her. Aunt Shirley gave her a bell when we were visiting her one time. Today, Zoey happened to carry it around a lot. Kind of neat, since I could not quit thinking about her. She has been on every type of chemo there is and sadly, they have done what they are going to do. My aunt is a fighter, has a will to survive.. a will to live and make people happy. She does not want to stop the chemo, just in case it might help a little. The reality is, she has fought her fight. As much as i love her and never want to let her go, it is time for her to stop fighting so hard and just enjoy some quality days from here on out. I don't know if she will ever let go and stop the chemo, but the side affects are terrible! She has no feeling in her feet or hands, falls down in stores and no one helps her up!! What is wrong with people these days! My prayer today is , Lord, let her days be filled with joy and smiles.. No more pain or heartaches.. just happiness Lord.. may you wrap your big loving arms around her, keep her close to you . Help us to be what we can be for her and give her the strength to carry on until you carry her home to be with you and all of our loved ones. In Jesus Name, Amen

My little buggie turns ONE~

I know I am a bit behind, but I just wanted to share a few pictures of my baby girls first birthday. It was such a fun and special time. My mother made her a darling giraffe cake and we had ordered some cute decorations for the big celebration. About 20 or so friends and family came and we just had a great time. We had tons of food and the hit of the party was raspberry lemonade with fresh raspberries.. it was tasty :) It is so hard to believe my baby girl is already a year old. This year has flown. I look back at her baby pictures when she was just a few days old and can remember so vividly holding her and smelling that new baby with uncontrollable tears. Not sad tears, just tears of joy. I had wanted a baby of my own since i was a very little girl. Now God has given me her, Zoey Steele Halden, and she is the biggest dream come true I could have ever hoped for! Happy birthday buggie.. i love you

Smokey Montana

Zoey and I are so ready for this smoke to be gone.  This has been so hard this summer, because the weather is awesome, but the smoke is unreal! Zoey starts wheezing and coughing as soon as we go out. We have had to be in pretty much the entire last month! The hardest part is when she goes to the door and says please.. over and over again. Makes my heart sad. I am hoping the smoke leaves soon, so we can go for some nice fall walks before the snow starts falling. All is all, we are just so thankful to have our sweet girl. As I was laying in bed with her today, trying to get her to nap, the tears just started rolling. I still can not believe God gave me such a sweet little angel that is my very own. She is the sweetest thing on earth! I feel blessed beyond what words can say. I'm just a very lucky girl! Not to mention, I have the best husband in the world. He is in nursing school and has to study like crazy. But somehow he always finds time for Zoey and I. I am so thankful for my life~

wonderful weekend

Since I was a very little girl, I have always loved my cousin. She was the one that would say I could come play with her, even though I was the littlest girl in the bunch. She never left me out and always included me in what was going on in her love life :) She also let me go to college with her a few times, just for fun and had me over for night stays.  Well, that same girl just turned 40 this weekend and we all had a blast celebrating. She wanted us all to get a cabin at the Tamaracks in Seeley Lake, MT. Needless to say, my little Zo Bug enjoyed every single bit of it. She has absolutely no fear and when she saw the lake, there was no turning back :)  She went straight on it, clothes and all. Let's just say, her Nana was with us and went in with her, shoe's and all. We shared a cabin with my parents and had a wonderful time. The food was great, but being with family was even better!

My social bug

So, the other day we were at the mall. My one year old, does not like to sit for long periods of time.. or not at all :)  so she was walking around saying hi to the tables near ours. All of a sudden she saw some children across the way and darted straight for them. This curly haired little boy came straight to me and said, "so how old is she, and what is her name."  I told him, and he instantly hugged her and kissed her on the head. He looked up at me with his big sweet eyes and said, "you know, i think we are cousins." there was no convincing him of anything but that, so cousins they are. Hopefully we can meet him again, since we are family and all :)