Fresh Start

Moving is always hard for us.. mostly, because you leave behind some of your favorite things that become comfort zones to you. That is what we did when we left Bozeman. We left a church that we were married at, had a child, and started new ventures in life with. The move to Missoula was so good for us in so many ways. We got to spend once a week dinner nights with Aunt Shirley before she went to heaven and we get to see our family so much more! Zoey is crazy about her Nanny and Pa and even though she saw them about once a month, now it is more common to see them once a week :) and we love it. And she gets to see her Granny too, so she is a lucky girl. All the good things are amazing, but Derek and I have struggled to find a home church to settle into and be us.

 
Well, today we ventured out and went to a new one! It was a total success. Zoey  absolutely loved Kids Church and didn't want to leave. Aunt Shirley use to say how awesome she thought it was for a worry wart mother like me, to let ZOey go to the nursery and me actually hear what is being preached. I must say, it is not the easiest thing I have done... I still look at my phone many times, making sure I haven't missed a call from them saying she is crying :)  but today, we were all at ease. She loved it from the start and Derek and I just felt a peace about it. We have had the normal struggle s that come along with life, finances, marriage and all that goes with it. So to find this was a huge deal for me. I know everyone has there struggles, but nursing school and a im home daycare are two very stressful worlds sometimes :)  We are going to be stronger for what we have gone through, and that I am sure!

 
All that to say this, today I am so grateful for my precious little family God gave me. I have wanted a child since I was about 3 years old.. and God gave me the sweetest, most spunky little girl ever created! We are so blessed. She adds so much to our life and I am ever grateful for her little life. I love to watch her grow and become her own little being everyday. She has just started bargaining with me and I can hardly keep a straight face :) When it is time to go to bed and I am about to turn the light out, she will hold her little finger up and say, "mommy, just one more little tiny book ok , please " just one more :)
How can I say no to that??? She is precious and the best little blessing we could have ever been given! Going to write more of what I am thankful for as the month goes on. Sorry for my scattered writing today, just needed to get thoughts off my mind. We have so much to be thankful for, and family is the best gift God could give us!

Life

Well, it has been way over due for me to get on here and actually write something... there has been a slight mind block, since my auntie went to heaven. I just couldn't find the words to say, so I said nothing at all.. When I first started blogging, I was telling her about it and she thought it was so cool.. She said ya, Kim does it too, wish I knew how to do it : )  Well now she doesn't need to blog.. but I bet she is one busy lady up there rearranging stuff and taking care of everyone pain free!! All of us who have lost little babies , no matter how far along, I know she is watching over them.. The other day it thundered... and Zoey gets so worried, I told her not to worry, it was just auntie shirwee changing the furniture around. She is making things pretty for Jesus :) She liked that and went along with what she was doing.. We have a plant from her funeral and Zoey tells everyone that it is aunt shirwee's plant and rocks :)  She would be proud!  We sure do miss her, daily, hourly, but the one thing that makes it ok is, she is no longer suffering and having to fight everyday for life... she did that for so long..

On a different note, Zoey started life saving swim lessons, aka ISR... She is only on her 3rd session and the teacher already let go of her and she floated for a minute on her own!! So proud of her.. She also let go of her and she swam to the side and grabbed the monkey bar!! Amazing!!! The teacher rocks! Zoey still cries every time she comes out of the water, but stops to listen to directions and do what she tells her. Makes this mommy proud. It is not fun to hear that cry for mommy, but it makes my heart happy she is learning something that could save her life! To me, that is what matters. Aunt Shirley would often call me at night, just to see if I emptied the water after Zoey's bath! I think about it every time I get her out and pull the plug! She was so afraid she would fall in.

This post is a bit of jabbering and all over the place, but I just wanted to get started.. just had to write and get my mind off things. I have 4 babies I am watching today and they are all sleeping at once! I call that a complete miracle!!!  Thank you Jesus :) 

Please bare with the plain color and bad font. My computer has a bug and won't let me do anything.. going to get it fixed and get some pics posted on here asap! 

Life On The Farm

These last few months, Zoey and I have been able to spend a lot of time at my parents place. They live on 32 acres on the outskirts of a beautiful little town called Paradise. When my aunt Shirley was still with us, we tried to make the drive at least once a week to visit. Now that she is gone, I have this longing to be home, closer to where so many memories of her have taken place and spend more time with my family.

Zoey, has decided she is a farm girl. She wakes up earlier, and is immediately ready to go outside and check on the goats, see the horses, feed the birds or go with Pa to see if there are any new baby calves. There is always something going on, and when all is quiet and fast asleep, you can still hear the owls and crickets making their own music.

My heart and soul have missed my auntie more than I even imagined. There are times tears just start rolling and I have to busy myself so Zoey does not worry about her momma. I know tears are all apart of healing, I just feel guilty when my sweet girl looks at me and doesn't know what is wrong. So for me, being on the farm has helped my heart in so many ways. I love new life and the smell of fresh rain. When we were up there this weekend, we saw shooting stars and yellow bells, two of the spring flowers I just love! We take lots of walks, as a request from Zo Bug, but it is good for all of us.

The one thing that happened this last time we were visiting that really touched me was when a bird hit the window a little too hard. My Mother said she tries to go out and get them so a cat does not take off with them, because often they are just stunned. But this little birdie was not going to wake up. So my Mother brought it in and let Zoey see it. She pet it and tried to give it some of her ginger ale :) Nothing like a sweet baby girl trying to make a very sleepy little birdie come back to life. She has such a sweet little heart, and is always trying to share or blow kisses to one of the animals. I hope that sweetness never changes.

Just a random post.. about a Nana and a baby

My mother says Zoey is such a "first child". She had to have every little ounce of paper off the present before she could even look at what it was.. and if there is a sticker stuck on something, she wants it off.. if her sleeves are too long, get them up!! Just cracks me up. There is something about Zoey and my Mother that is just fun to watch. I am sure it is because my Mother was there when she was born, and made such a huge effort to come see her, even when she had to drive 4 hrs to see us in Bozeman.. but anyways, Zoey has a love for her that is so precious. When she sees her walk in the door, she runs as fast as her little legs will take her,  straight to her and wraps her arms around her! so sweet to see! I have always been pretty fond of my Mother as well, but seeing my baby get to love on her is priceless!

 

Guess there is something between a Nana and a baby girl that is more special than we know. I had a wonderful grandma as well. I have so many amazing memories I hold on to. ZOey is making new ones with her Nana all the time. When Aunt Shirley was in the hospital, we came and spent a week. Then we came home to regroup, get more clothes and give Nana a breather. We barely get home and Zoey goes to the door and says Nana, Pa... needless to say, she was ready to go again :) I feel so lucky to have such amazing parents that want to be a huge part of our lives! It means so much .

 

Happy New Year~

There is no better thing then taking a moment to look back at the last year and realizing how amazing God has been. We have had so many blessings and my heart is so full.

Derek only has three more semesters to go, we are counting down! Can't wait to be done with school and just be a family! I am so proud of how hard he works at it though and his desire to do well, so he can provide for our family! I am so blessed!

Having Zoey has been my absolute dream come true, but everyday, she just keeps changing and my love keeps growing.

• She is so full of life and love. 
• She has the sweetest smile
• my heart melts every time she looks at me. 
• She has been sick the last two weeks and it was so hard to see her feel so icky, but it did not slow her down from having a wonderful Christmas! 
• She absolutely loves unwrapping presents!

• I am determined to blog more this year, 
• i know it is just for me to read, but It has really helped me. 
• Now if I can just get in a routine of doing it more often. I kind of got hung up after the tragedy in CT. I wanted to write, but words don't even make sense for it. 
• I will try to write about it later, but Happy New Year, if anyone else reads this! Much love and such a neat thing to have a fresh start to 2013 in so many ways. We can be recharged spiritually, mentally and so many other ways! Excited for a fun year ahead with my sweet little family, God is Good!!